does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
