She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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