he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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