You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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