Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
