i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my shit smells like andre
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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