Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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