Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
