I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You can't special order awesome
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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