he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
