i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
