it wasn't lemon gatorade
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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