If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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