All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
