Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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