so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's shark week go big or go home
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
