I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
