You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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