She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
