I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Girls should come with a carfax report
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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