she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You pole danced in your parka.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
