If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
