I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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