My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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