You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
