You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
