You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
