i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
