we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
