I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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