If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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