I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
