I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
