I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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