Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan

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(707): View more from California

I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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(518): View more from New York

You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING

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(407): View more from Florida

the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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(630): View more from Illinois

On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be

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(803): View more from South Carolina

My apartment stinks of burning failure

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