What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
