i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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