Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
