Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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