Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
