Pants 0. Shit 1.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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