I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize