I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
