Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
