found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
