a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Boobs speak an international language.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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