so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
