I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
