she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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