You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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