Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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