can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
