I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Found your dick twin last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
