STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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