"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
