I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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